A Terrible Monster
by Crimefire
Summary: She's gorgeous. She is... the ONE and ONLY: AIMIHIME SAKURA-ICHIGO-AKIKO-YOSHI-TERIYAKI-OMEGA-DELTA-CULLEN-EMAIL-STARSHINE-JULIENUS-MARYSVANNA-HOBOSI-LILYSVANE!  Love her or hate her, she's come to town! Oh, she's also a Vongola Guardian. sarcasm needed
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! Just a fic inspired by sarcasm and our best friend, Mary Sue.**

**I'm odd. I know. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

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Somewhere in a dark, sealed away cavern in Italy, a creature stirred. 'It is time…..'

Tsuna was curled up all warm in bed. It was Saturday, so he didn't rush about, as Reborn was kind enough to let him sleep. (ahem)

That morning, while Tsuna was eating bacon and eggs for breakfast (because all Japanese people do that) when he noticed the baby Reborn looking down at his orange juice with a frown. 'There's something bad in the air,' Reborn muttered, before looking up, surprising him. 'Tsuna. Meet me at Namimori Shrine at 1pm. 'Don't be late.'

Tsuna was sprinting towards the historical shrine when he noticed a familiar group of people congregated around it. Hibari was not conforming as usual and stood away from the circle in front of it. 'What's this?' Tsuna panted, noticing all of his guardians were gathered.

'You'll see,' Reborn replied gravely from his place on Yamamoto's head. 'It'll be any moment now…'

'Who or what's keeping Tenth waiting?' growled Gokudera, ever trying to impress.

Suddenly, there was a flash of dazzling light, and with a puff of glittering, rainbow mist, a girl materialized in front of them.

No. Not just a girl.

This beautiful creature had dark blue locks, blue as the deepest bit of the ocean. No, on closer inspection her hair would be like the water and moon, it shimmered, and there was no colour to describe it. Her hair cascaded gracefully down to the delicate curve of her back. She had an impeccable fringe that looked as though a healthy number of silkworms had given their lives for it.

Her eyes were closed, but everyone could tell she had impossibly long and thick lashes. The slightest hint of a blush tinted her glowing porcelain skin. She was slightly taller that Tsuna, angelically thin, with elegant fingers clasped in front of her. They seemed to hold some sort of jewelry. Around her long slender neck was a delicate silver chain.

She wore a simple purple dress, which hugged her petite figure, which suited her so well.

Tsuna and his guardians couldn't say anything. They just stared, and gaped.

Like something out of a movie, her eyes opened dramatically. Her eyes were like a doorway to another world. Metallic violet with specks of bronze (or some other precious metal – you decide) looking so deep and intense you felt like you could fall into them. Those huge eyes darted around the group. Tension was so thick in the air, you wouldn't be able to cut it with Yamamato's blade.

'EXTREMELY WEIRD!' said Ryohei suddenly.

This girl ignored him like a mature lady. She opened her pink soft lips and spoke.

'My name is…'Aimihime Sakura-Ichigo-Akiko-Yoshi-Teriyaki-Omega-Delta-Cullen-Emeraldsa-Starshine-Julienus-Marysvanna-Hobosis-Lillysvane. I believe I am your Star Guardian, Vongola Decimo.'

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><p><strong>Review! :)<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Phew! Another chapter!  
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**Thanks to my reviewers! I reread all your reviews so many times you don't know.. ;w;**

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Star Guardian? Tsuna frowned.

This pretty creature then proceeded to show the group what looked like a Vongola ring. It had a simple star engraved in the head.

'The Ninth Vongola had me hidden away all this time, because my power was too great. I would have destroyed half the universe if I unleashed my full star power back then,' she continued.

'Then why are you here now?' Gokudera said loudly.

'Because -' she fluttered her eyelashes in Gokudera's direction, 'It seems like the only thing that can control my power is love. I know, I know, I was shocked when the prophecy spoke of it too,' she gushed, looking around the dumbstruck guardians. Yamamoto had a politely interested expression on his face. Ryohei looked slightly put off and Chrome looked nervous.

'I was terrified of that prophecy, when it was said that I had to find my one true love. I was outraged. "It's not fair" I thought.' she swooned, 'but then apparently then I have to save the Earth with the ultimate power. It's my destiny, which I'm not proud of at all, by the way.'

'Wahahahaha! Can Lambo call you Hobo then?' Lambo seemed content to break his silence, while he finally figured out her name.

'Oh!' the girl looked down at Lambo who was now hiding behind Tsuna's leg. 'Call me Aimihime please.' She stated, flicking her glossy, lovely hair. 'Now give him to me,' she said to Tsuna, who was still in a half-daze. 'I'm excellent with children, along with a million natural talents-'

'HOBO TO THE EXTREME!' Ryohei shouted, because he was clearly incapable of saying a sentence without 'extreme' in it.

'Please listen to me?' Aimihime begged quietly in a soft, soothing lullaby tone (that sounded like a chime no less than 10 minutes ago). They all shut up. 'I have to enter Vongola Decimo's close friendship group so you can get to know me very well. I also have to enter Namimori High,' she said.

By now Tsuna had noticed that Reborn had a bubble coming out of his nose.

'So,' she said, dramatically. She noticed Hibari, who was sleeping standing up. Turning to him, she reached out a slender, pale arm for his sleeve. 'You're the prefect, aren't you? I know all about you. The lonely soul… aching to be loved…shutting everyone out, even though you really want someone to love…' Aimihimi/Hobo inched closer to the stoic prefect. 'I can help you…' Hibari opened one eye lazily at her touch.

'Oh!' she let out an adorable, cute, delightful, charming and pleasant squeal when a yellow fluffball launched itself at her. Hibird landed on her head, and scuffled around, trying to pull out bits of her hair. Then it came.

'Stop, Hibird,' Hibari said.

Everyone stared. 'Did Hibari just tell off his bird for Hobo?' Ryohei said in a harsh whisper.

Hibird gave an angry chirp and flew off into the trees above.

'I'm apologize, Hime,' Hibari said, going down on one knee and holding one of her soft hands. 'I'll take you to the Uniform Store and show you around the school. You are right. Finally my lonely heart can find solace in your beautiful and loving care. Though I just met you, I can tell you are the One. For you, my flower, I'll stop being such a cruel person that attacks everyone that annoys me. For you, I'll…'

Everyone was too scared to laugh.

…

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><p><strong>Oh my! Hibari! Need I say more…? <strong>

**Review! Any sort of feedback is good! **

**Criticism is helpful for my writing! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thanks everyone for the reviews ;w;**

**I always read every one of them with this huge idiotic grin on my face OwO**

**Opal Solitude and Forever27 – thanks for pointing out my mistakes!**

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Almost everyone.

"Kufufufufufufu…"

Aimihime gently removed (tore) her hand from Hibari's and whirled around to face a now-present Mukuro, who was looking too amused at the scene. Her silky hair flowed in the air behind her. (Tsuna got an unpleasant face full of it)

"Mukuro," she whispered. The pineapple head's grin was sliding off his face at the sound of his name. She reached out for him. Mukuro took a subtle step back. "I gotta be going now! Kufu…." Mukuro faded into a wisp of blue mist. Chrome then took his place, looking bewildered. Aimihime stared at Chrome with her huge, violet, deep, intense, wonderful, thoughtful eyes, and then blinked rapidly. "Never mind. I'll just summon Mukuro with my Star power when I have time later," she sighed.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh! I need protection by the Guardians, because the whole world lies on my shoulders from this moment on. Hello?"

Gokudera had an extremely bitter look on his face. "The boss isn't going to waste resources to protect you, you trouble-maker! If you're a 'star' Guardian like you say, you're meant to be protecting him!"

Aimihime laughed merrily at that comment, and turned place a palm on Gokudera's shoulder, who on closer inspection, had his arms pulled back by Yamamoto. "Sorry!" Gokudera stammered instantly, and his angry face melted away.

"Are you okay, Gokudera?" Tsuna piqued, nervously. Gokudera looked… lovesick. More sick then love, maybe. His face was going steadily more purple.

Gokudera swallowed a few times, and looked like he was having an epic internal war. Aimihime then slid her palm down his arm (subtly).

"Of course! Why are you asking such a stupid question, Sawada?" Gokudera shot back.

"Eek! Okay!" backtracked Tsuna.

"EXTREME PERSONALITY CHANGE!" commented Ryohei, who then proceeded to sit in the corner in depression because the writer couldn't find any witty lines to give to the poor character.

"Aimihime, Tenth saved me from years of loneliness without a family, but you can save me from myself! You'll help me so that I can rely on myself, and not always be so pushy to the Tenth!" Gokudera blubbered, falling at Aimihime's feet. "You are the next- no, most important person in my whole miserable life!"

Tsuna clutched his head and gave a loud groan. What was happening!

Aimihime then turned to Tsuna. Tsuna gulped.

It's not that he had a crush on this Aimihime or anything! She was just... so beautiful, charismatic, graceful, energetic and powerful. Kyoko-Kyoko-Kyoko-Kyoko-Kyoko-Kyoko... He smiled when he thought of the girl he liked, immediately distracted. He was in his personal bliss before he realised a certain glittering creature was inching/gliding closer to him by the second.

"Tsunnnnna!" squealed Lambo, tugging desperately at Tsuna's legs. "Hobo Princess is coming nearer!"

"Vongola Decimo," her voice was like the rustling of leaves on a slightly windy day while birds rested safe and sound in their warm little nests, content with life in their trees while unaware of the effects of global warming that could destroy said tree in a few hundred years if the pulp mill didn't get them first, but then it was okay because-

"TSUNA!" Lambo screamed.

Tsuna snapped out of his reverie, just before Aimihime enveloped him in a hug.

She smelt of lilac, bottle brush, rose, iris, rain, freshly cut grass, eucharis amazonica, vanilla planifola , hermannia verticillata, lantana camara, (was that amorphophallus titanium?) and cabbage. Dazzled by this attack of nature and scientific names on his nostrils, Tsuna's eyes drooped and still in Aimihime's hug, muttered drowzily over her shoulder.

"Princess…"

"That's it," whispered Aimihime.

"…as Vongola Boss I promise to protect-"

Then Tsuna fainted.

Reborn hopped back onto his place on Yamamoto's head, Leon swirling up around his fedora. "Can't have you making promises I won't let you keep..." he muttered darkly.

Meanwhile, Hibari was still kneeling on the ground, his eyes staring up into space.

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><p><strong>Mukuro has avoided the paws of the Mary-Sue! <strong>

**Reborn has began the fight-back!**

**I hope you liked it, and I didn't disappoint you all too much...  
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**School holidays are over soon so I might not update as much as I'd like to...but I'll try!  
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**Review? :)**

**Construction criticism appreciated as it helps me alot~ XD  
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	4. Chapter 4

**New (and final) chappie! Recap: Basically, Aimehime, a creature from a mysterious place, has introduced herself to Tsuna's guardians. Under more mysterious circumstances, one by one they are all falling at her touch . . .**

Aimehime then edged around the fallen Tsuna to step in front of Yamamoto. She smiled at him, her stunning violet eyes absolutely adorable, and he grinned back. "Sorry, I don't do love triangles," she chimed sweetly, batting her eyelashes furiously. "I prefer… shall we say, hexagons?" Yamamoto was just so carefree that he didn't care that what she said didn't really make sense, nor did he notice the plight of his friends. So he just laughed.

She then looked up at Reborn, who was (sleeping?) on his head. "Please, Greatest Hitman in the World! Let me be your disciple!"

"…"

Reaching up to touch his fedora, she batted her lashes and gave him a shy, cute, and sugary smile. "Please! Besides, I've been to the future before, so I know that I'm actually your-,"

BANG!

There was a smoking hole in the centre Aimihime's forehead. A green gun could be seen transforming back into Leon before wrapping itself around Reborn's fedora.

"I think that's enough," said Reborn darkly.

Everyone who was still conscious looked at "Aimihime". Even Ryohei looked over his shoulder from his corner. There was a creaking sound, and she fell face forward into the ground with a huge thud. Sparks and a lot of paper flew out of her head, before a mini tornado whirled around her body. Before they knew it, Aimihime had disappeared with a whirling of wind and paper sheets.

Gokudera gave a strangled cry before launching himself in front of Tsuna's feet, though Tsuna was unconscious, with a bit of drool dribbling down the corner of his chin. He was muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "Aimihime"…

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Gokudera yelled, kneeling and banging his head on the ground. (Stop! Hayato, you're bleeding! Is what came into a certain mind at that point) "I don't know what came over me!"

Hibari was shocked into consciousness by the sound of a gunshot. He was horrified to find himself in a in a kneeling position, with a bent knee. It got even worse when he noticed someone looking down at him. That… goddamn illusion pineapple weirdo! Hibari had his tonfas out and was in defensive stance in an instant, while Mukuro was looking at him with delight.

"I'll bite you to-,"

"Hime," Mukuro cackled. 'For you, my flower-' he squawked in a girly voice.

Hibari growled attempted to regain some dignity. "I'll bite you to-," However, the events of the past 30 minutes were too much for him. He ran away to a nearby bush, where the sound of throwing up could be heard.

"Sorry, Boss," Chrome said, approaching Tsuna. "I knew what she was, but Mukuro told me not to tell you guys," she stuttered nervously. "He said he wanted to see something funny."

Reborn was explaining.

"_That_ was an OOCMS machine. It's made from the imaginations of too many fanfiction writers. Corrupts whatever it touches. That was apparently one made to think it was going to save the world through charm , power and illusion. Vongola Guardian, what an insult. Hmph."

Reborn suddenly had the green Leon-gun in his hand again. "I'm going to have a few words with a couple of people."

When Reborn said that, it meant something nasty was going to happen. In this case, it was probably doom to some 'fanfiction' writer, whatever they were. For once, no-one had any objections.

"It's for the good of the entire universe."

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**And that's it! The OOCMS is dead! For good or not, that is up to you, my fellow fanfiction-ists, to decide!  
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**This story is finished, and I hope I didn't let you down. (… too much)**

**Thank you to all reviewers! I love you all and your review gives me some hope of my writing in this FF world! I reread them all every single time ^ w ^**

**One final review? : D  
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